She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
