Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
