I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
