I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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