Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
