I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
