Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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