Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
