ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
