That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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