Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
