dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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