Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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