Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
