he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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