So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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