i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
