Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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