I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
