i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
