You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
ugly people sure do ruin things
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
