AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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