hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
