there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
