so explain again why im purple
no
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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