You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
