omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
