just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
