Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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