States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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