No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
