Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
