Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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