Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
