Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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