Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You did what with his pubic hair?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
