I didn't shave. On purpose
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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