So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
im on a boat
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