So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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