I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
