chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
