We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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