Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
