I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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