remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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