doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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