I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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