Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
