tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
