:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
