I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
NoShamevember. You game?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
