Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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