By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
